I Lost MY Yoga
I lost my yoga the day I started taking yoga classes. All classes were beautifully sequenced, incredibly well narrated, super relaxing. Why on earth would I lose my yoga? What do I even mean by that?
When I do yoga at home, I can easily focus on myself, by breath, my pose. When I enter a yoga studio, my mind starts racing. As soon as my eyes wonder an inch away from my mat, I easily forget my breath, my body, my pose.
I see bodies, beautiful bodies, beautiful poses, I hear impeccable breathing. And I start judging myself. I judge my body, my poses, my breathing. That’s how it starts, I judge, I forget all the good things yoga is actually supposed to teach me, such as: I am beautiful, I am good enough, all is really well, being in the now is all that counts, it really doesn’t matter as to where I am in comparison to anyone else… all those meaningful phrases you can find, when you google words such as yoga, self-love, self-acceptance, etc.
To be honest, this self-critical phenomenon doesn’t only happen to me in yoga class. It happens almost everywhere I go. Shocking, I know.
As a certified yoga teacher, shouldn’t I be the “master” or at least a better student of self-love (again heavy on the judgment)?
Well I ain’t. I am working on it. One pose at a time. Through teaching the very yoga, that seemed to have gotten me into this whole mess in the first place.
Yoga has been MY tool, through the physicality of connecting my breath and my body, to find my active meditation and adding spirit to it all.
As Barbara wrote yesterday: Be where/when you are. I am here today, with all of you. I am ready to find my yoga again and again and again, entering and leaving yoga studios, schools, stores, everywhere. and through the process helping some of you to find or re-find your yoga too.
Happy Being and Non-Judging!