Friday Fate: This Because of That?
Life is tricky, at times down right hard. We are constantly asked to choose, to decide, to pick, to make up our minds; navigating it all can be challenging.
Decisions can haunt us or bring huge rewards. We don't always know which way a decision is going to go. Often we create something without the full knowledge of what will unfold and/or what will be destroyed in the process (because that is how creation works, when you create you are also destroying). We might have ideas, imaginings, visions - yet we never really quite know what will be until we go all in.
We spent a bit of time talking about creating this week in our conversations. One thing that came up was the idea of creating something and benefitting from the unintended creations that came with it.
For example: we (Barbara and Elizabeth) met one sunny, beautiful morning while we were both out walking with our children - one going one direction, the other going the other way down the street. We recognized each other as someone we had seen somewhere; turns out we had both been at a meeting the week before for moms in the area, though we had not formally been introduced. After saying hello and timidly sharing contact information, we parted ways to continue on our walks.
The conversation created that morning had, unbeknownst to us, created space for more, bigger, on-going conversations, the creation of this blog and even more yet-to-be-determined things.
When we create space for one thing, often space for other things gets created. We have all seen it happen. We create a business and suddenly find ourselves in a new relationship - potentially the relationship we have always wanted, and the business we intended to create flops. We have all heard it before - I set out to do this and ended up doing that. You create space for abundance and all of a sudden (perhaps not all of a sudden) there are four angelic-looking children staring at you across the dinner table.
Space. When you create space, amazing things happen. Not always how you picture it or exactly what you thought would happen, and yet, usually, when given a chance to sit with it, it makes sense or aligns.
Where do you create space in your life for yourself or others? How do you fill the space? Have you noticed when creating one thing, often shifts happen in other spaces? And lastly, since space attracts space, are you giving space to the things you want to see and have?
Because only then can the "that" be created from the "this" or the "this" be created from the "that."
I’m going to take this in a little darker direction, and look at the idea of blame. When something unpleasant or painful or horrific happens, we are quick to assign blame. We desperately want to be able to point a finger and definitively say, “That happened because of this.” If we can do that, I suppose, we can comfort ourselves with the thought that we can prevent that thing from happening again by simply not doing that other thing.
Are you with me?
The trouble with that kind of thinking, though, is that very few things are that simple. Yes, there are consequences for actions, and quite frequently the consequence is a result of more than one action. It’s seldom as cut and dried as we might like. It’s unsettling, and it’s true. What leads a person to be in the wrong place at the wrong time? It’s decisions and actions, many of them seemingly harmless - until viewed through the 20/20 lens of hindsight.
Does the child have a temper tantrum because his sock is crooked, or is it because he’s tired due to missing his nap thanks to a birthday party - in which case, do we blame the parents of the birthday boy for celebrating their baby’s birthday at 2 pm on a Saturday? Can we take it farther and blame the college where the parents met for assigning them to the same dorm, because otherwise they may not have met? Or the birthday boy’s grandparents for sending their offspring to that college in the first place?
This moment that we’re in is the result of generations of actions. Which one is the root of the sock-not-sock tantrum?
Sometimes planning and forethought are important, other times they can keep you from ever getting started with the next thing you’re here to do. Either way, blame usually just clutters things up and distorts the picture, it doesn’t propel the story along. Decisions & actions - including creating space, stepping back with hands in the air for a moment - that’s what moves the story along.