Sometimes it has felt like my own personal mission to push boundaries. I have often lamented that I can’t do anything the “normal” way, although in truth normal holds little appeal for me. Everything in my life has been colored by this overwhelming need for truth, for authenticity, for the juiciness that real shit brings. Getting together with friends has never been about exchanging niceties. While some people may want to chat about a concert they recently saw, or what they did over the weekend, I have always grown bored with that type of chat.
What do I want to talk about? I want to know what makes your soul sing, what lies deep inside you, what scares you, what ignites you and excites you. I want to know it all. It’s not that I want to have these conversations to infringe on people’s privacy, rather I want to give them a safe space to explore these thoughts. The thing is, people have always seemed to talk to me about personal stuff, I often don’t even have to pry.
When I was in my early twenties I felt confused that people were always opening up to me. I remember people I barely knew showing up at my house and wanting to talk about their failing relationships, issues with their parents, or hidden eating disorders. Ten years ago this was very overwhelming to me. I didn’t know how to separate out my reality from theirs; I felt their pain so deeply it would keep me up at night. I had no boundaries. My personal space was like a revolving door for other’s energy. It was not until I started doing active meditation seven years ago that things began to shift. I finally understood what it meant to be an empath and how easy it was for me to attach to energy that didn’t belong to me. The tools I learned safe guarded my space while still allowing the opportunity to explore these juicy conversations with others.
Having boundaries, while simultaneously pushing boundaries may seem like a difficult balance to maintain. However, with the right toolbox and a deep understanding of my own personal energy, this is a place I love to experience.
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