My Truth

My truth is, that I am still not sure, what it means to be living my truth. Until recently I considered the phrase “living your truth” just a fancy term, that you could find in a yoga magazine or in a sophisticated article about enlightenment.

I am a very visual person and living my truth just didn’t ring with me on any level. I like to have fun, find my joy, I can be sad or angry, but what does it feel like to be living my truth.

I am still in the beginning stages of uncovering this mystery, but when I enter meditation into my efforts to finding truth, really any truth, things begin to move and shift, I feel.

Take my day for instance. I woke up, prepared my kids for school, got their snacks ready, made their breakfasts. Is this living my truth? I have no idea. I know, taking care of little ones is what mothers do. I am a mother, I take care of my kids. That’s true.

After the kids went to school, I put my timer on to get into meditation. Throughout my sitting there for 20 minutes, many thoughts went through my mind and I greeted the thoughts and ideas and directed my focus back to my breathing over and over.

Did I find my truth within these 20 minutes? I don’t know. What I know is that thanks to active meditation, I slowed down a little, I put the breaks on the momentum of my morning, I strengthened my focus on my inner voice.

This inner voice connects me to my need to practice self care. My inner voice has directed me to change my life. Last Fall, I felt stuck in a fog of depression and anxiety. I over-ate, I didn’t sleep enough and I hated myself for all of the unhealthy and toxic choices I made. I was caught in a cycle of “un-wellness.”

Luckily, I found my way back onto my meditation pillow. I took moments, 5 minutes here and there, I added more minutes over time and almost simultaneously I started taking care of myself again, with sleeping more, eating a little better, exercising again on a regular basis etc. The desire to feel better grew. And the self hate stopped, even if I made not so healthy choices. 

In this case living my truth meant to listen to my body’s and soul’s cries for change. It meant to find self-love and self-appreciation again. And thanks to active meditation, thanks to listening, sitting quietly I was able to hear those cries coming from the inside. I realized my truth was to be found there and not outside of me, by blaming my upbringing or the weather or my age. No, I knew it was all to be discovered inside. That is one truth I found.

I hope you are finding yours today.

Sat Nam.

photo by Romy Eichner