The only thing standing between us and true joy are the deep, dark beliefs we hold about ourselves.
Overall, I am a very happy person. My middle name is Joy, usually when people hear this for the first time they say, of course it is. However, this does not mean that I am immune to sadness, angst, or anger. This past Monday was a particularly hard one for me. Being someone who is typically full of joy, I resist emotions that feel dark to me. However, what I’ve also learned is that tunneling into the darkness is what leads us to the light.
My coding, my deep, dark belief: I am not worthy of love. Crazy right? I mean logically I KNOW I’m worthy of love. I know it, I believe it…and yet there is this tiny part of me that doesn’t. Sometimes that tiny part has a very loud voice; like screaming, tearing down walls, full-on tantrum loud. Monday was one of these days. Initially I tried to resist the feeling, push it away, and squash it from existence. When this didn’t work I went the other route. I tunneled in. I let myself wallow in the angst, and ultimately unraveled the belief. I won the battle by showing that tiny part of myself love and acceptance (Inner child work anyone?).
I share this because I know I’m not the only one with this fear, and with other fears of a similar nature. During our free active meditation this week Elizabeth talks about two primary emotions Joy and Fear. The way we act, the beliefs we hold, they all stem back to those two emotions.
What lies do you tell yourself to keep you from joy?