This post originally appeared on July 14, 2015.
We all want to see and be seen. It’s not shallow or conceited to admit it - it’s what Spirit wants, it’s our nature. However, sometimes I feel friction between what Spirit wants and how I with my human tendencies meet that need.
Challenges arise when we try to dictate how others see us. E.g., “I demand that you see me precisely like this (even if that’s not truly who I am).” “I will see you, not the way you see yourself, but the way I think you should be seen.”
Another challenge pops up when we get attached to how we see. By seeing people as they were 10 years ago, or even 10 minutes ago, we aren’t able to see them as they are in this moment. People are constantly changing, and if the way we see them doesn’t keep up, then we are missing out on real connection, on Spirit being seen. Think about your last high school reunion. Or the first day back to school. Or a toddler 30 minutes after a meltdown.
Holding on to who someone was crowds out the opportunity to see who they are.
That’s not seeing. That’s judgement. And it feels lousy. Am I right?
Pay attention to how you see the people in your life. Give them the opportunity to show you who they are now. Let them see you as you are now.
And notice what happens.