What the what...?

What if you question what you believe, and get some answers? What if you can’t easily articulate what you’re learning?

That's where I'm working. Spirit-speak has been a minefield to me, because my faith traditions are tied up in family drama and not rooted very deeply. Words like “faith,” “God,” and “church” came with baggage, and are words I’ve only lately become comfortable using.

When discussing spirit, I also use words like "energy" and "clairvoyance," because those are part of my vocabulary. I don't do well with "shoulds," and as I find my voice and the words that feel right to me, I find myself dancing more and more into areas where there seem to be a lot of them. As in, I should believe/behave in a certain way because that’s what people expect.

I am a Christian. I meditate. I talk to God. I listen to the spirit of creation, and I hear some of the things it has to say. I see energy. I’ve been told those things are mutually exclusive. That I can call myself a Christian if I want to, but I’m doing it wrong. Case in point: I was essentially booted from preparation for First Communion in the Catholic church of my childhood because, as the nuns alleged, my insatiable curiosity indicated that I didn't have the right kind of faith. 

It’s taken me time and effort to get to a point where I feel empowered to explore the juicy parts of being human.

As I grow more comfortable doing so, I see God dropping the right people into my path. People who are willing to play and look and discuss and explore with me, without getting bogged down in the words.

I heard a great analogy for this recently: some people would rather spend their time enjoying the meal than debating the words on the menu. Right? I can totally see that.

I read energy. I look at the current of creation to see what I can see. I have chakras and I know how to use them. I’m curious about quantum physics, fascinated by the mysteries of the atomic world. I recently entertained the idea of pursuing a degree in Divinity or Theology (an idea swiftly and vehemently dismissed by my nearest and dearest for various reasons).

All that is to say, I use words that have baggage and I mix my vocabularies. God. Meditation. Christ. Heaven. Spirit. Clairvoyance. Energy. I’ve been trying to keep the language in my posts non-religious, to keep my clairvoyance and my Christianity in separate bubbles, and it’s just not working for me. I need more unity within myself.

So, for now, you can expect to see me make more direct references to God and Jesus and other people from the Bible, sometimes right alongside terms from other traditions. I’m not doing it to evangelize, it’s more about pushing my own boundaries and taking my next steps. I’ll trust you to substitute words that allow you to get the information you need.

If you, like me, experience "language with luggage," I challenge you to look at that. Listen to the words you use to talk (or think) about the things which are beyond our grasp. Examine the pictures that come up when you hear spirit-speak of any kind.

And notice what happens.